The word, “accountability,” makes us feel quite uncomfortable and even scares many of us. We are afraid that if we become really honest with each other, there will be judgment and disapproval for our mistakes.  Especially if you are pastors or leaders in the church, your credibility and reputation is always on the line, and if any dishonesty or misdeed is exposed, you may be afraid that your future leadership ability may be questioned. But scripture teaches us to confess our sins to each other and pray for each other. Scripture does not exempt anyone from having to be accountable. In fact, scripture emphasizes that leaders are to be the most accountable so that others may follow their example.
So we know for a fact that, as a believer, each of us is accountable for our actions. Then, the next question is do we have a proper understanding of God’s intention of accountability for believers? We must remember that God’s intention of accountability is to show love to one another. Jesus said he gives a new commandment that we love each other. As I have loved you, so you must love each other. The teaching of Jesus begins with love and ends with love.
Am I saying then that we shouldn’t care about how others are living and simply disregard them from facing the facts? Absolutely not! Sometimes we are afraid to hold people accountable because we don’t want to create unnecessary tension that we have simply decided to look away. But this is not how the church should function because God’s love requires a commitment to one another. We must learn to love each other enough not to ignore our sins.
Then, how do we go about being accountable for each other? Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus laid down his life first for everyone before he asked us to be accountable. It takes love and humility to be held accountable. Accountability is not about judgment. It is about love so that we may be what God has called us to be.
Also Paul says in Galatians 6:1, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.  But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” Yes, believers must be honest about our sin, but accountability must point back to the throne of grace and become accountable to the love of Jesus because the ultimate purpose of accountability is restoration. And it must be done with the intention of love, not judgment.
One of the biggest problems in the church is that we trample on the wounded. But this is not God’s intention for us being accountable each other. Are we as a church wiling to be accountable to each other? Then first we must show one another that we love them, and our goal has to be for restoring them.
As our church moves forward, we will continue to face many issues of accountability. And the course of action that we take will either make us or break us. We shouldn’t overlook the sin and refuse to face the facts, nor should we expose the sin openly and inflict wounds of hurt. As long as what we do points back to God’s grace and love, and our focus is on restoration, not only will God restore our mistakes or shortcomings but also we will grow stronger and tighter as a community of believers.

From Pastor Neil’s Heart
February 9, 2014

I usually try to take care of family duties on Mondays. Well, I should say that’s what is expected of me because I am not home much on the weekends due to ministry stuff.  At times, my wife writes “TO-DO” lists so that I don’t become lazy and waste the whole day. Although I complain that she expects too much from me, I do appreciate her so much for being a “super mom” and that she constantly challenges me to become a better husband and father. God has indeed blessed me beyond measures with a perfect partner to share my life with. I am forever grateful for her… except for the days when we get into fights and end up not talking for a couple days or so. Yes, as a pastor, I should know better not to let the sun go down while we are still angry at each other (Eph 4:26). But it doesn’t always happen that way.    
As a result of a recent conflict with my wife, I had a bad incident this past Monday morning. She didn’t notify me of our minivan being very low on fuel so the car just died on me right after I buckled the kids into their car seats to take them to school. After spending so much time and effort in the freezing weather to pump in gas, my hands were all frozen and I spilled gas all over my hands. So I was very annoyed at myself for not properly resolving conflicts with my wife because my wife would have warned me of the low fuel light on our “normal” days. She probably forgot to mention it because we didn’t talk to each other for the entire weekend. To add to my frustration, even Reina was annoyed at me that she was late to her school. And why did it happen on the day that my parents and my sister went out early in the morning for a hospital visit? Everything just didn’t go right for me on that morning all because I failed to deal with unresolved conflicts with my wife.
How do you resolve conflicts? There is an article that I came across that presents 5 different ways people resolve conflicts. Find out which one you can identify with and learn the “carefronting” way to preserve relationships. (Refer to the source for more detailed explanation)
 
The Win-Lose Strategy: Seeing everything as right or wrong. No “gray” whatsoever.
Avoidance: May end up with weal and superficial relationship. Avoiding conflict at all costs in often a sign of weakness and insecurity.
Giving In: Yielding to others to maintain peace. People pleasers
Compromise: Sometimes both parties may give up something important to them and high risk of ending up unsatisfied and unhappy.
Carefronting: The two parties must agree to come together, commit to preserve the relationship, creatively find a solution that satisfies both sides, utilize reason over emotion, separate the person from the issue, and strive for a solution that will bring peace. 
Source: <http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevinwax/2013/08/13/5-western-styles-of-managing-conflict/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=5-western-styles-of-managing-conflict&repeat=w3tc>

From Pastor Brian’s Heart
February 2, 2014