Think of the last conversation you had with someone that involved advice giving from either party.  If you were the recipient of advice, how did you feel after that “wisdom bomb” was dropped on you?  Did you feel wiser?  Ready to take on the task you needed advice on?  Let me switch it up a bit.  Did you feel loved?  Did you feel like the person you went to actually cared about your situation?  For the advice givers, did you take time to ask questions about the person and their situation?  What was the more prevailing thought in your mind, “what should I say “ or “how should I love”?
At one point in my ministry, I realized that a successful day of work would be squeezing in as many meetings with people in the span of 4-5 hours.  That’s what a pastor does, right?  With that definition, I was absolutely successful.  Every few days, I would go down the list of people in my ministries, schedule meetings, drop a “wisdom bomb” or two or three, and on to the next.  I was the best wisdom bomber I could be, ruthlessly proclaiming truths of scripture and life into those less wise and experienced than I. 
Then a sad realization came – the people that I had met with were still struggling with the issue they came to me for!  Heathens!  How could they, when the power and truth of scripture was so clearly stated by me?  “It must be them, not me.  They have issues,” I’d reassure myself, because I was speaking truth as I was called to do.  As I struggled through this process, God graciously lead me to the famous Ephesians 4:15 where the Apostle Paul emphasizes the way in which we interact with people, “with truth in love.”  Often times, this scripture is viewed in the context of conversation; as we speak, we must speak truth with a healthy dose of loving comments here and there.  Though this is true, I believe that Apostle Paul is asking us to take it a step further.  “Truth in love” is not in the context of semantics or conversation but rather the speaking of truth is in the context of the pursuit of loving our brothers and sisters as Christ first loved us.  Pretty simple, right?  Maybe, but what if I phrased the verse like this: “As you are loving those around you as Christ loved, speak truth.”  Living that out is a bit harder, but that’s exactly what Christ commands.  In our fast-paced culture, we are so ready to give one-liners that will fix all problems instead of taking the time to love the individual and put ourselves in their shoes.
Stephen Covey in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” suggests one way to enhance the effectiveness of conversations is to constantly practice empathetic listening.  He states, regarding our natural inclination in conversation:
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. . . . They’re filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives... [they must] seek first to understand, then seek to be understood”
And about what it means to listen with empathy:
“Empathetic listening gets inside another person’s frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm, you understand how they feel. . . . You’re listening to understand.”
And to me, that’s exactly how Jesus listens to us.  If Jesus, the most empathetic, wise, and loving being in the world takes time to know us, see us, and love us as we are, wouldn’t that be the most effective AND loving way to approach all our conversations?
Friends, let’s be slow to speak and quick to listen.  Let’s take the time to love and care for everyone we are blessed to converse with because one of the essential ways to speak and live out the Word of God is to listen.

From Pastor Keeyoung’s Heart
September 7, 2014

After a long summer break, the kids finally went back to school this week! I’m so happy that Reina started her first Kindergarten class and Ryan started Preschool. But now, the kids have to be dropped off at two different locations at two different times so I have to make sure to manage my time well. I can’t imagine what your mornings are like for those of you with more kids. Perhaps things will get easier and become more natural as I get used to it but for now, I am running up and down the stairs getting kids ready and making sure I’m not leaving anything behind, especially their lunches.
When I put up a couple pictures of my kids’ first day of school on facebook, some of you made a comment that Reina’s lunch bag is big. It’s because we take our meals very seriously. A lunch bag is all Ryan takes to his school. That explains everything right? I must share a painful story to get my point across here. When I was in elementary school, I cried so bitterly during lunchtime because for some reason, on that particular day, I couldn’t open my lunch bag zipper and I was too shy to ask anyone for help. I don’t remember whether I was eventually able to open it or not, but one thing I vividly remember is that I ran into the bathroom and cried. My parents told me that I came home crying that day. So my wife and I want to make sure our kids don’t have to go through anything like that. haha.
In fact, my wife told Reina to ask her teacher to heat up her lunch if we pack something that needs to be microwaved. And of course, Reina wasn’t too thrilled to hear that because she got my genes of being all shy. So my wife and I decided to heat things up in the morning and pack them in a thermal lunch jar to make sure Reina doesn’t skip her lunch because she’s too shy to ask her teacher to heat up her lunch. On the other hand, we have no worries for Ryan. His teacher told me the first day that Ryan kept on asking, “Is it lunch time yet?”  Doesn’t that sound like something that I would say? Ryan certainly got my genes of eating!
I would like to share an important lesson that I learned with other parents. When my family was having dinner together, I asked Reina and Ryan to pray before their meal. And to my surprise, Reina responded by saying “we don’t do that anymore.” So I told her to pray even when her friends don’t pray but I knew in my heart that it wasn’t going to be that simple for Reina to sing the song like she used to sing at Fellowship Christian School before their meal times. And if Reina has a hard time asking the teacher to heat up her lunch, she certainly will not be able to sing the long “God our Father” song before she takes her meal in front of her classmates. This was one of those “wake up” moments for me. It hit me so hard that Reina is now in a public school where prayer, worship, stories of God is not a norm anymore. I should have prepared her better by teaching her how to do a simple prayer before her meals. Not only that, I really need to buckle up and pray for her to be strong in her faith and to live out a life of worship even at a young age. God has been challenging me for a while to set aside time for a family worship where our kids are saturated with the Word of God and learn the life of worship from the family setting. I know that the Sunday worship and a bible class once a week on a Sunday morning for a couple hours will not be enough for our kids to keep their faith in this world. God really convicted me to take family worship more seriously and practice doing it more consistently.
Dear fellow parents, it’s time to wake up! It’s time to pray for our families and our kids. More than worrying about what activities and programs we can provide for our kids to develop their talents and gifts, we need to teach and guide them a life of worship and living out His Word. And that has to start from our homes. As the apostle Paul said in Romans 12:2, the transformation by the renewing of the mind has to become our priority so that our families will not conform to the pattern of this world.

From Pastor Brian’s Heart
August 31, 2014