Happy Father’s Day

Boy, it’s Father’s Day again it kind of crept up on the Summer.  It’s a nice idea to honor dads but as a holiday compared to Mother’s Day we are a distant second, an afterthought. Last month when the church Mission Support event was scheduled for this afternoon none of the 3 pastors (all fathers) even realized it was on Father’s Day. I think my wife pointed that out to me later, oops. So not even the Dads are paying attention to our own special day either.
I joke of course. But we fathers don’t necessarily need that kind of outward gesture of appreciation and affection. Unlike mothers we don’t automatically relate to or identify with the emotional bonds that exist, or ought to exist, with our children. It’s complicated. We’re not comfortable with the emotion of it. We were raised by a generation of fathers of a past traditional paternal role where all this touchy feely kind of close relationship was not expected.
So the modern role of the father has changed for the better but we struggle with it. Our own fathers were not that relational or affectionate and so we’ve had to find a path to our children’s lives on our own. It’s especially challenging for a father and son to be close. I love being a father to my 11 year old son Julian but I struggled early on with my own issues before he and I had a stronger relationship. I wasn’t close to my own father growing up. Oh sure I have fond childhood memories of doing lots of fun things with my father like on family vacation at the beach and going salmon fishing together.  But later on as I grew older it was more difficult to find common ground between us. And as a young adult I didn’t want to listen to my father or anyone else for advice and so my relationship with him became even more strained. So after high school and even college he and I were distant, even though I still loved him but we had no way of expressing it.
But there comes a time as we grow older that we start to know and appreciate our parents as adults and so the relationship evolves to a mutual friendship. Of course the Bible says for us to honor our parents and I think it’s a challenge for the guys especially to honor their fathers. But as time goes by we age and mature and all of those obstacles that held the relationship back before hopefully fall by the way side and what remains is the love and appreciation for one another.

Happy Father’s Day!

From Pastor Mark’s Heart
June 21, 2015

Back when my wife was 8 months pregnant with our son, Andrew, we were living in Sacramento, California. I had come home from the church office on a Thursday late afternoon. We had an appointment to take a tour of the hospital that we were planning to go to have our baby. This was before we even knew we would be moving to VA and having Andrew here. We were running a little late, so my wife made a makeshift dinner. We sat down to eat, and there in the middle of the table was a plate of what I thought was sautéed red onions. So I started eating it along with rice and the rest of the side dishes of meat and kimchi. As I was eating the red onions, something just did not seem right. It seemed raw and uncooked. Rather than questioning her cooking, I said “This tastes good!” and kept on eating it. I just thought maybe this is how people eat red onions in Korea nowadays. I don’t know if some of you have ever had raw red onions, but the taste and smell is so strong. Some of the pieces brought tears to my eyes from the spiciness, but I kept on chomping away and ended up finishing the whole plate.
After we quickly ate, we rushed out the door and started driving to the hospital. The smell of onions was beginning to take over the car. I tried everything. Driving with the windows down. Blasting the AC. Closing my mouth. But nothing worked. Just as it was getting unbearable, we arrived at the hospital. We signed in for the tour and waited in the lobby. Slowly, the lobby was getting filled with other people who were taking the tour. The onion smell reeked. There was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. What made it worse was for parts of the tour we had to pack into the elevator. It was a short trip up and down, but if felt like an eternity for us and the people packed in that confined space with the stench of onions as our only source of air. I don’t think I have ever smelled so bad in my life. I don’t think I will ever smell so bad in my life.
Towards the end of the tour, we were walking behind the rest of the group (it was the least I could do to help them deal with my stink), and my wife turns to me and says “You really smell bad!” I replied “Yea, I know, it’s from those red onions.” To which she said “I didn’t want to tell you that I had forgotten to cook them and that you were eating raw onions because you seemed to be enjoying them so much!” We both just bust out laughing. We were laughing because I stunk so much. We were laughing because all these people were suffering because of me. We were laughing because they knew I was the source of the smell. We were laughing the whole car ride home. Needless to say, I was so happy to rinse my mouth and brush my teeth when I got home. I’ve also become more careful with my onion consumption after this had happened.
That day, I literally experienced what Jesus meant when he said “Nothing that goes into a person from the outside can make him unclean. It’s what comes out of a person that makes a person unclean.” in Mark 7:15. Although, we may not be able to “smell” things like cursing, blasphemy, pride, judgement, condescension, envy, lewdness, and other things that can come out of our mouths, I’m sure that it probably smells worse than the smell of red onions coming from my mouth. Let’s not take lightly what comes out of our mouths. Instead, let’s watch our stank!

From Pastor Eugene’s Heart
June 14, 2015