인생들의 눈을 의식하여 잠잠하고 싶지 않은 이 저녁에.
마음이 아파 눈물이 나는 이 저녁에.
함께 일어나 승리의 깃발을 들고 기쁨과 감격으로 하나님을 찬양하기를 소원하고픈 이 저녁에.

하늘이 보이지 않았습니다.
온통 회색 먹구름으로 들어찬 하늘 어느 구석에서도 밝은 빛을 찾아 볼수가 없었습니다.
단 한 점도,
단 한 자락도,

만약에 만약에 온통 회색구름으로 들어찬 하늘이 영영한 것이기만 한다면 우리는 얼마나 짜증스럽고 불편하고 구질하기만 할까요? 그러나 우리는 압니다. 하늘 가득찬 회색구름이 멀지 않은 시간에 거두어 지고 광명한 그 아름다운 하늘이 반짝 반짝 빛을 발할 것을 말입니다.
회색구름과 함께 땅으로 쏟아져 내린 비 또한 땅속 깊은 곳으로 스며들어 흔적도 없이 사라져 버릴 것입니다.

마음에 어둠이 드리워져 생명이 꺼져가는 많은 영혼들의 아픈 눈물이, 절규가 찾아듭니다.
어두운 하늘을 올려다 보며 문득 생각이 새로와졌습니다. 저 하늘 높이에 드리워진 어두운 먹구름이 바람 물결에 이끌려 멀리 가버리고 나면 새롭게 청아한 하늘, 맑고 밝고 환한 하늘, 보고 또 보아도 또 아름답고 또 아름다운 하늘, 바로 그 하늘을 다시 볼 수 있는데......절망하지 말았으면 좋겠다. 좌절하지 말았으면 좋겠다. 포기하지 말았으면 좋겠다.

열린 문이 있습니다.
하나님을 알고 예수 그리스도의 부활하심을 믿는 우리에게는 열린 문이 있습니다.
절망적인 환경과 조건이라는 사방이 우리를 가로 막고 있어도 믿는 자, 우리에게는 하늘문...언제나 닫힘없이 활짝 열려 있는 하늘문이 있습니다.
환경과 조건이라는 사방의 우겨쌈은 우리를 충분히 두려움으로 내 몰아 버릴 수 있으나 하늘로 열려진 문을 활짝 열고 나서기만 하면, 하늘로 열려진 그 문을 열고 나서기만 하면 우리에게는 그 환경과 조건을 초월한 새로움의 역사가 우리를 반겨 맞아 줄 것입니다.....새로운 소망이, 기대가 찾아듭니다.
두려워 하지 마십시요. 세상은 우리에게 두려움을 주나 하늘로 열려진 그 문 안에는 하늘의 권세가 있습니다.

사방이 나를 우겨 싸고 있었습니다. 절망과 죽음이라는 부름 밖에는 내게 손짓해 오는 것이 없었습니다........그러나 그 절망과 죽음의 그늘 속에서 희미하게 하나님을 기억하였습니다.
그 작은 기억하나가 절망과 죽음이라는 철저한 갇힘 속에서 결국의 자유를 얻게 하였습니다. 결국 승리를 얻게 하였습니다. 하나님의 도우심으로!

사방으로 가로막힌 벽을 향해서는 두눈을 꼭 감았습니다. 그것은 인생들이 나를 향해 끊임없이 쏟아붓는 미움이었고 증오였고 저주였습니다. 때마다 하나님을 바라보며 눈을 크게 떳습니다.
하나님을 기억하였습니다.......하나님을 기억하였습니다.......하나님을 기억하였습니다........사방으로 막힌 벽에 갇혀 신음하고 또 신음하다 문득 눈을 들어 바라본 하늘에 활짝 열려진 문이 있었습니다.
너무 아파서, 너무 무거워서, 너무 힘이 들어서, 너무 잔인하여서, 너무 절망적이어서....볼 수가 없었습니다. 고개만 들면 보이는 그 열린 하늘 문을 볼수가 없었습니다.
.......
절망이 무엇입니까? 좌절이 무엇입니까? 죽음이 무엇입니까? 환경이 무엇입니까? 조건이 무엇입니까?
비교당함 내지는 비교하고픔의 결과로 주어진 것 아닙니까? 자신의 가치를 인생들의 기준에 두지 마십시요. 나의 가치는 하나님 안에 있습니다.
언제나 미움이 증오가 저주가 나를 향해 손짓해 오면 기억하였습니다.(과거형입니다) 구겨진 $20의 가치. $20은 구겨져도 언제나 $20입니다. 그 $20불의 교훈은 사는 날 내내 나를 지탱하는 힘이 될 것입니다.(우리는 $20가치가 아니라 하나님의 가치입니다^^)
하나님의 백성은 구겨지고 더럽혀지고 망가지고 부셔져도 여전히 하나님의 귀하고 귀한 백성입니다.
사방......별것 아닙니다. 하나님 손에 붙들리면 별 것 아닙니다.
그 별것 아닌 것에 하나님께서 내게 주신 귀한 한 번의 인생길 놓치지 마십시다.
실패하면 하나님 의지하여 다시 일어나 달려 가면 그만입니다. 하나님께서 책임지십니다.
하늘 향해 열린 문...............열어 보십시오.
모든 환경과 조건을 초월한 새로운 기쁨과 감격으로 충만한 나날들이 주어질 것입니다.
용기를 내십시오.
힘차게 날개짓 하며 독수리처럼 창공을 날아 오르십시오.
힘주시는 분은 오직 오직 오직 하나님이십니다.
승리하십시오. 여러분. 사랑합니다.
사방으로 막힌 벽들이 나를 우겨쌀 때에는 눈을 꼭 감으십시오. 그리고 다시 눈을 떠 하나님을 바라보기를 연습하십시오. 하나님께서 신실하게 도우십니다.
절망과 죽음의 문을 넘나들며 신음하던 인생이 승리의 깃발을 들고 기쁨과 감격의 함성을 외치며 잠시 아플 여러분께 드립니다. 하나님을 바라보시면 님들께서는 분명한 승리를 얻을 것이기 때문입니다. 하나님을 바라보십시오. 우리의 보장이 되시는 하나님만을 때마다 바라보십시오.

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